For those preparing to attend Santacon this year, the fine folks over at NYC Santacon have posted a survival guide to participating in this year’s event.

Santa’s Survival Guide:

• What to expect Santacon is an annual convention for Santa and his holiday brethren.
  Expect holiday cheer, unconventional gifts, naughty carols and general mayhem.
  Do not expect to be entertained: Santa IS the entertainment!

• How to be Santa Santa doesn’t just wear a cool suit and invade your dad’s liquor cabinet: he also brings gifts!
  A gift can be a reindeer game, a song, a dance or a joke to entertain Santa and tourists alike.

• How NOT to be Santa Santa never endangers his reindeer with violence, vandalism, inappropriate groping or theft.
  Santa never gets SO jolly he needs babysitting.
  Santa never expects to get away with behavior that an ordinary citizen wouldn’t.

• It’s not a bar crawl Every time you call Santacon a bar crawl, a sugarplum fairy dies.

• You Better Watch Out… It’s time to get ready, cause Santa’s comin’ to town!

  1. Make a costume.
     You can be an elf, a holiday ninja, a Santasaurus, a Hannukah Harry or a Santa Palin. Use your imagination! Just don’t wear your fucking jeans.
  2. Join Santa’s Twitter.
     Santa will be tweeting some of his locations throughout the day.
     Text “follow santacon” to 40404 to have tweets sent as texts to your cell.
  3. Prepare your libations.
     Holiday cheer is best enjoyed from unlabeled bottles that can be capped and safely stowed away in your sack of toys. Don’t get ticketed!
  4. Buy canned food.
     Please bring two non-perishable food items for Santa’s food drive.
     They will be collected at the first stop.
  5. Download your XXXMas carol songbook.
     Double-sided PDF booklet for printing or Single-sided mobile version for smartphones.
     Make extra copies for your friends cause Santa loves to sing.

• Morning of Santacon Countless studies by the North Pole Institute of Yuletide Studies indicate that Santacon is 97% better when you start at 10 am. But before you reach the start point, make sure you:

  1. Eat something.
     It’s gonna be a long day, so put some fuel in your sleigh.
  2. Buy a Metrocard.
     If you don’t have an unlimited card already, get the 1-day FunPass.
  3. Hit an ATM.
     Bar stops will be too crowded to run a tab.
  4. Dress for a marathon.
     Comfy shoes. Layers. Seriously. Santa walks a lot and wants to be comfortable everywhere from the North Pole to the stripper pole.

• During Santacon It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Do your part to keep it that way.

  1. Pace yourself.
     Your friends don’t want to spend their Santacon cleaning the puke outta your beard.
  2. Follow the candy canes.
     The folks with the tall candy canes can help you get to Santa’s next stop.
  3. Tip your bartenders well.
     Or burn in Santa’s Special Douchebag Hell for all eternity.
  4. Bust out the carols.
     Remember that carol book you printed? Use it!
  5. Don’t get arrested.
     Dressing like Santa does not exempt you from city, state and federal laws.
     This includes open container violations!
  6. Don’t litter.
     Santa likes his elves dirty and his streets clean.
  7. Check in on your friends.
     If you brought ‘em, you’re responsible for ‘em. Don’t send your wasted 22-year-old cousin on the train back to Ronkonkoma by herself!